Saturday, July 31, 2010

Mother-Daughter Memories

Greetings from Kathmandu!

My Mom made it here safely on Thursday, July 29 at 2:45 pm as planned, and it also took her ‘only’ 32 hours, as opposed to the 80-some it took me, haha. Everything went smoothly on her trip, except for the fact that the airport in Delhi opened a brand new terminal on July 28th (what are the odds?!), so my Mom’s flight into Delhi from Munich and out of Delhi to Kathmandu were literally two of the first flights in and out of this new terminal...she said it was very disorganized! At one point ,she and other passengers were ‘held’ in a room for about 3 hours with no access to a bathroom, food or drinks, and the room was being guarded by approximately 10 members of the Indian armed police. Her arrival/departure cards she filled out were never collected, and luckily she was not checking any luggage, because there was no system for collecting bags and getting them on the correct planes...crazy!

The night she got here, my good friend and classmate Upendra took us out to dinner with his family at their favorite Chinese food restaurant. I convinced Mom that if she could manage to not take a nap and could stay awake until bed time on that first night, she would be better off the next day and might be able to avoid some of the jet lag. She made it through dinner like a trooper, only nodding off at the table a couple of times :) Upendra’s wife, daughter and son are all three beautiful and so nice; I have heard so much about them, so it was so nice to finally meet them and share an evening out together.

The following morning, Friday the 30th, I had arranged for a taxi to pick us up and take us sightseeing around Kathmandu. We went to two famous Buddhist temples, or gumbas - Swayanbunath and Boudhanath - a famous Hindu temple - Pasupattinath - and two different ‘Durbar’ (palace) Squares in Kathmandu City and Patan. We actually had amazing weather, which means that a lot of our pictures, especially from Boudhanath, are amazing, with blue skies and white puffy clouds in the background. Luckily the temples are peaceful, because riding around in Kathmandu City is not! Traffic is crazy and congested, and there are far too many cars, buses, taxis, scooters, and motorcycles all trying to fit on such narrow roads all at the same time...it’s amazing that traffic accidents are rare! To be honest, we didn’t read the Lonely Planet section on Kathmandu City’s Durbar Square before getting there, so we were ‘the typical tourists’ who fell into too many of the ‘tricks of the trade,’ haha. First, we agreed to letting this random Nepali man be our ‘tour guide,’ which then led to a friend of his walking along with us and claiming that he was his ‘helper.’ Of course at the end, they both wanted to be paid at least 10 Euro (or about $15 US), even though at the beginning when I inquired about the price, they said anything would be better than nothing. They also convinced us that the men in the middle of the square who were dressed in all orange and wearing elaborate face paint were collecting money to build a monastery in the mountains. Turns out, after we fell for both of these tricks, Lonely Planet warns against both ‘illegitimate tour guides’ and ‘sadhus,’ who only pretend to be religious men and who pose for pictures for ‘tips’ in the Square. Oops to our being naive!

After sightseeing for most of the day, our hired taxi took us approximately 90 minutes outside the city to a beautiful place up in the hills called Nagarkot, which is the most famous place to go to watch the sun rise and set over the Himalayas. Our hotel was nestled right into the green hills of the valley. We did not get a good view of the mountains or the sunset in the evening when we got there because there were too many clouds; actually, in general, since this is the rainy/monsoon season, the mountains are rarely visible at all. We did get lucky this morning, though! We woke up at 5:00 am and wandered up the many flights of stairs to the highest view point at our hotel. There were still clouds around the mountains, but some of them subsided enough so that we were able to see the northern-most edge of one portion of the Himalayas, which included about three of the big, famous peaks of the Annapurna portion of the mountain range. We could only see them for about 10 minutes, but we got some great pictures!

The same taxi driver brought us back to Kathmandu this afternoon, where we have spent the remainder of the day walking around Thamel (the touristy shopping area of the city) and sipping coffee and tea while playing cards in the garden of our hotel. The Kathmandu Guest House where we are staying is very peaceful, and is providing a perfect setting for my Mom and I to catch up on life.

Tomorrow we are going on a mountain flight, which will take us up and around the Himalayas, and we will even get to see Mt. Everest, weather providing! And then we are moving to a different hotel outside of the city a bit, where meditation and yoga classes are offered. There are many gardens at the hotel where we will be able to go bird watching and simply enjoy nature - some of my Mom’s and my favorite things to do together! There are some short trekking trails near the hotel, which will provide another opportunity for us to be outside and truly take advantage of all that Nepal has to offer. Our plans after that are still up in the air, but whatever we do, all that matters is that we will be together :)


Pictures coming soon...


Miss you and love you all, from both of us!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Shrawan

Saturday was the beginning of the Nepali month called Shrawan; it is a month where people pray and worship the Hindu God, Shiva, and women pray to him specifically so that they may find a good husband, or, if they are already married, so that their husbands will have long lives and their families will be prosperous and at peace. During this month, women trade in the mostly red saris and bangles they wear, for green ones; fast on Mondays, by only eating fruit and drinking tea and milk; and also go the market to get mehndi, or henna, tattoos painted on their hands and arms. The mehndi tattoos are a particular symbol of women’s hope that their husbands will have a long life.

I celebrated the beginning of Shrawan at my CWES supervisor’s home. She had invited me over for lunch, and soon after I got there, two of her nieces from Kathmandu also arrived for a visit. The three young women, including my supervisor’s oldest daughter, are probably 19 or 20 years old, and they immediately insisted on using mehndi to draw on my hands and arms; at first, I asked for just a small design on the inside of my arm, something that would be somewhat discrete since the dye lasts for approximately two weeks, but after some convincing, I allowed them to do whatever they wanted...they said that the red/brown color of the henna would look beautiful on my very white skin, so I let them go for it! By the end of the day, I had mehndi all over the front and back of my right hand, and had also been taken to a little shop on the street to be ‘fitted’ for the traditional green bracelets women wear during this month...apparently people have to be ‘fitted,’ because the idea is for the bracelets to look as though they are somewhat tight on the wrist and like they shouldn’t have been able to fit over the hand/knuckles. The woman who fit me put her hand around my hand and wrist, as if to measure them, and then picked a stack of green bracelets off of the shelf and began looking at their size to see which ones would fit me best; it was amazing the way she knew exactly which ones would work, just by looking atthem! After only a bit of struggle, probably because my hands (and feet) are constantly swollen and full of water because of the heat here (and my diet of predominantly salty rice and noodles), I had been fitted with 13 new green bangles with yellow and gold accents that I’m pretty sure I’m going to have to break when I want to get them off, haha. They were correct when the said that the henna looks beautiful with the green bracelets! Later, when I got home, Sabita and her friends Leela and Roshani said they wanted mehndi on their hands, too, so we went to the market to buys some, and they actually let me do the drawing! It was really fun...I’m no artist, but I think I did alright :) You can see for yourself below...the first picture is me drawing on Sabita on our front porch (there was no electricity at the time, so we went outside with our portable lights and used what little light from the evening was left). The second one is my hand with my new bangles.





Now, for my ‘unpacking’ of the whole situation...

It was both fun and fascinating participating in these rituals...fun, obviously, because it is yet another cultural experience I have been able to share with amazing Nepali friends - friends that have been so kind, hospitable and eager to share with and teach me about their lives and what guides them. On the other hand, it was fascinating because I was engaging in the activities for not the same reasons as other women in the society. I mean, I hope I find a partner someday, and I hope that my partner will live a long, healthy life; but at the same time, these reasons are not why I allowed the young women to draw with mehndi on my skin or get me fitted for green bracelets. And also at the same time, I found myself frustrated because there are no similar rituals Hindu women or men participate in, which symbolize a hope for women/wives to live long lives. I found myself sitting in the home of the Director of the Child and Women Empowerment Society, and for some reason, this fact seemed to, in some way, contradict the very things she and her family were teaching me about Hindu culture. Why don’t men spend a month praying to find a good wife, or if they are already married, praying that their wives will live long lives? Of course, I know the answer...but I still haven’t been able to come to terms with it all...especially since I feel like I am being ‘complacent,’ in some sense, by ‘sporting’ my new ‘fashion statements ‘ - complacent, that is, with the ongoing domination of women by men, as well as with the inherent heterosexism in all of this. Anyways, I wouldn’t trade any of these experiences, nor do I regret them, I have just trying to be mindful of what all of this means in my own life, since again, I can’t say that I participated in any of the activities out of very much more than curiosity and a chance to engage, in a very real way, I felt, with the people around me. I will, however, continue to pose the question in my mind of how fascinated I am in the way that women here, especially women who work specifically in the organization I am interning for, reconcile both their traditional and religious beliefs, with the changing societal values and emphasis on women’s rights, independence and empowerment...what does it mean to be a Hindu woman, during the month of Shrawan, at the same time, the Director of the Child and Women Empowerment Society. I could go on and on about this and the next thing I am going to say, since I just recently read another news article about the Vatican’s stance on the Catholic womenpriests’ movement, but just as a side note, maybe it feels the same as trying to reconcile being a newly-confirmed Catholic and a feminist?

Speaking of feminism...I would encourage everyone who is seeing this to read the book, “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo.” In some feminist circles, it is being praised, while in others, it is being completely bashed...but I am in the middle of it and so far, I think it is quite entertaining, if nothing else...it’s a mystery book, which is not what I usually read, but ya, it’s good. It’s the first book in a series of three, and they were written by a Swedish author who actually passed away before they were ever published. Anyways, Nicholas Kristof, for those of you who are familiar with the book “Half the Sky,” mentioned the book in one of his NYTimes op-eds about trafficked women (the link has to do with the progressive and so far successful prostitution laws in Sweden), so I thought I would look for the first book in the series in the bookstores here, and I happen to come across it...and then later I saw it talked about in the WomensEnews updates I get every day...so all in all, if you’re interested in women’s issues, although it was written by a man, it has been insightful.

In addition to all of this, a lot of other things have happened since I last posted. I have been spending a lot of time outside of work with one of the community mobilizers from CWES. His name is Monoj. He took me to see one of the famous temples here in Pokhara that I had not gotten to see yet, and he also took me to his poultry farm he owns...which has 2400 chickens, YIKES! Other than that, we mostly just go to coffee at little cafes. It is fascinating to get his perspective on what CWES is doing and what it is all about. He is a community mobilizer specifically for the HIV/AIDS Prevention and Care Program, so he isn’t involved much with the Rights-based Program or the Women’s Empowerment activities, but like I said, the conversation is never dull with him! He lives close to Sabita and I, so it is convenient when we are going to or leaving the office at the same time, because he gives me rides a lot, haha. Another great friend I have made here in Pokhara!

Unfortunately, I didn’t make it to the rice-planting/mud-throwing festival a couple of weekends ago because it was pouring down rain that day...but I’m hoping there is at least one more festival or cultural celebration I can attend before I leave. Also unfortunately, Nepal’s biggest festival takes place in September, so I am just barely going to miss it :( One great event I was able to attend, though, was what is called an ‘interaction program,’ which was hosted by Sabita’s organization MSBK and its partner organization SAP-Nepal (but my supervisor from CWES was also a part of it, so I had two connections). Anyways, the interaction program was the ‘end result’ of the meetings I have mentioned a couple of times in my blog, which have been taking place with the women’s watch group that has been conducting ongoing research on violence against women in politics. The watch group invited representatives from political parties, people from development organizations, the media, and community members to have discussions about women’s access to politics, violence against women in general, and specifically, again, violence against women in politics. Sabita translated for me, so I was able to catch a lot of what was being said...some participants were so passionate, they ended up shouting loudly at the audience, who in turn cheered when they said something people agreed with! It was super exciting...kind of like a rally, but in a controlled setting! I really liked what one participant said about a current challenge that hinders gender-equality when it comes to women in politics and decision-making. She talked about the ‘paradox’ of being a woman by describing the ‘societal trap’ she feels herself being pulled into. On the one hand, she described, when a woman does not speak out, people criticize her and ask why she is weak and silent. On the other hand, however, if she voices her opinions, her femininity is questioned and people ask why she insists on crossing the boundaries society has constructed that define what it means to be a ‘good’ woman. I learned a lot at this program, so I am grateful that it came to fruition before I have to leave.

On that note, I can’t believe my internship will be over in just a little more than a week! It’s definitely a bittersweet feeling...bitter, on one hand, because my time here is coming to an end and I will be sad to say goodbye to Sabita and her family and my CWES friends...sweet, though too, since my Mom will be here soon (9 days to be exact), and I since miss everyone from both San Diego and Oregon SO much. It’s been weird to have those things, which were the biggest ‘changes’ to my ‘normal life’ when I got here, become ‘normal’ only several weeks later...like washing my face and showering out of buckets, riding around on a scooter instead of in a car, not eating foods that have to be kept cold because there is often no electricity, not having electricity, etc. It’s actually weird, also, to think about returning to what used to be my ‘normal life.’ I won’t be cliche and say that ‘my life will never be the same after this experience,’ so I will just note that I often wonder what parts of my life will simply return to the way they were, and which parts won’t...especially since I’ve heard from friends and professors that the ‘culture shock’ is often ‘worse,’ or more predominant, when people return home from an experience like this. I guess we will see :)

Well, I’m signing off for now...and I’m assuming I’ll post one more time before I meet my Mom in Kathmandu on the 29th. If not, she and I will post together, along with some pictures.

Miss and love you all, and can’t wait to see you soon.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

A changing political landscape...

Another week has flown by! About an hour I left the office last Friday, I realized I had forgotten to post about exactly what I had initially intended on writing about: the interesting turn the political landscape has taken here in Nepal. Ever since I began my initial involvement with USD's IPJ as an intern over a year ago now (which is eventually what led me to the School of Peace Studies), it has seemed like every time someone affiliated with the Institute or School is planning a trip to Nepal, something interesting happens either right before they depart, or while they are here. Like in May 2009 when a group from the IPJ was here and the Maoists left the government...or just this past May when there was a week-long strike that took place right before a group from the IPJ departed San Diego, and now, the pattern has continued...I am here, and last Wednesday, June 30, Prime Minister Nepal, of Nepal (yes, his last name is also Nepal...confusing, I know!), resigned from his post as PM.

So far, there hasn't been any problems, at least from what I have read in the newspapers and/or from what I have experienced myself. But the newspapers have also not been completely free of warnings about the potential for the situation to bring an increase in tensions, especially among the three major political parties. All three of the parties are wanting and trying to stake a claim to the PM seat, and combined with other, ongoing disagreements about such things as whether a Parliamentary government or a Presidentially-led government is best, how many ex-Maoist combatants will be integrated into the Nepal Army and when, whether there should be a national consensus government or a majority government, etc., the country seems to be walking a thin line (though again, this is not the first time in recent months or years that this has happened). To reassure you, as I mentioned above, I have not been frightened or experienced/seen anything too much out of the ordinary here in Pokhara. From the sounds of things, it seems as though there are just a lot of 'heated talks' taking place in the capital at this point, which is also not anything extremely new for Nepal, since the ongoing pattern seems to be that a very few number of powerful people - the few leaders of the political parties - are the ones who make all of the decisions all the time (i.e., there is no sign of representative democracy here). Sabita and I regularly take both morning and evening walks these days, so one thing we have noticed is an increase in the presence and visibility of the army. We have noticed them just standing on street corners with guns almost every time we leave the house, and two times after being out to dinner past dark, we were waved through what I have termed 'informal military checkpoints' on Sabita's scooter. Cars and scooters ahead of us were stopped, though I'm not sure exactly what the military personnel were checking for, since again, we were waved through without being stopped; I've thought about this, and maybe it's because we are women, or maybe it's because I look like a tourist...these also might both be incorrect assumptions, as well, so maybe the checks are 'random' and we have just gotten lucky so far.

In relation to all of this, I have talked to Sabita a couple of times about the conflict that began in Nepal in the 1990s and ended just four years ago in 2006. She has said that the city of Pokhara, and the district we are in, Kaski, were not places among the most affected by the conflict. I have tried to push this topic a little bit, as I have begun to feel more comfortable with Sabita, but I still sense a reluctance to discuss the conflict and/or the possibility of the current rising tensions turning in to something more than what they currently are - maybe a reluctance to tread into a conversation that maybe seems much too familiar to past experiences and memories? I have thought about two possibilities that might explain this reluctance. First, I have thought that perhaps the reluctance comes from the fact that this area was truly not affected in the same way as others, so maybe there truly isn't much to say. But secondly, perhaps the reluctance has to do with the collective memory of the country's people. As I have learned about in my studies, in post-conflict communities and countries, sometimes people are anxious to tell their stories so that a collective history can be shared, recorded and reconciled, and so that reparations can be made where they are due, etc...and all of this is often done in the name of the society having the ability to begin to heal and 'move on, for lack of a better term. On the other hand, and in other post-conflict communities and countries, people are more anxious to 'forget' conflict and trauma...not that they literally forget what happened or what was suffered, but that it's, in some cases, 'easier' to not do the things I mentioned earlier - easier to not talk about and share experiences and easier to not relive them on a daily basis, as well. So again, maybe this reluctance I have sensed comes from a resiliency strategy - a strategy maybe many Nepali people have adopted in attempts to live lives closer to those they they lived prior to the conflict. I don't know, but I am going to keep exploring.

I also should note, though, that the above description/analysis is incomplete, and does not do the academic research that has been done on these types of issues in post-conflict situations any justice! This was simply a reflection on some of my experiences as they relate to some articles I've read in the past...which again, compared to the amount of material available, has been insignificant.

Well, that turned into much more of an 'essay' than I had intended, but I am glad because after looking at my previous posts, I seem to have been posting in a self-indulgent kind of way...only telling you about me and my feelings and forgetting about other important things at times. Very quickly, I am doing great...still loving spending time with Sabita very most of all, and still having improved experiences at CWES, as well...I attended a training with CWES staff members and HIV/AIDS community mobilizers for two days this week, which was insightful and made time fly by even more quickly. Something else I have been thinking about is how, long before I ever came to Nepal, I have been concentrating on trying very hard to simply 'live and be' in each present moment, rather than constantly thinking/worrying about the past or the future all the time. I have been trying to do this, here, as well - whether I am on a morning walk, talking with Sabita about something funny or serious, working on a project at my internship, or simply sitting on the porch watching children play below in the street. However, I have to admit that there is something that is somewhat hindering this 'practice of presence' for me, and it is the fact that I have, originally unconsciously but now more consciously, officially begun the countdown until the day when my Mom gets here (it's only 20 days now, by the way)! I seem to be distracted often thinking about the moment that I will get to see her face and give her a huge hug and kiss, and also thinking about and planning the wonderful things we will have the opportunity to do together while she is here...all things that will be once-in-a-lifetime experiences for both of us, together. I guess if I am distracted by anything, though, this is not the worst thing I could be thinking about :) I miss her so much...her and my dad most of all for sure...and am getting 'antsy' waiting for her to arrive!

Anyways, I'm so excited it's Friday and that tomorrow is a day off! I think I will be attending a rice-planting festival at a friend's house from CWES...which apparently will involved throwing mud and getting very dirty, bahaha, can you imagine?! I think Sabita is coming with me, and we have agreed it's a bad idea to wear white, but hopefully I'll have some great pictures! Miss you and love you all.

Friday, July 2, 2010

I can't believe my fourth week is almost over!

I can’t believe it has been 4 weeks since I arrived here, or that it has already been over a week since I last posted and left for the big city of Kathmandu! The bus ride on the way there was much longer than I had expected, because we encountered two traffic jams caused by traffic accidents. The road from Pokhara to Kathmandu is very narrow - barely wide enough for one lane going each direction - and is also very windy. It snakes in, around, and through beautiful countryside, though - through flat lands near rivers and up and down lush, green hills - so at least I was able to look at beautiful scenery for the 10 hours it took to get to our final destination!

The film festival was also quite an experience. I arrived in Kathmandu late Thursday evening, and since, according to the paper, the festival was to begin on Friday, I got up early, ate breakfast, and left my hotel with ample time to find the festival location by 10:00 (when the ‘business day’ typically begins, here in Nepal). When I arrived to the Nepal Tourism Board building, one of two places that was hosting the festival, I was directed to some flyers that said that the opening ceremony wouldn’t begin until 2:00...this was actually good, though, because it gave me time to do some sightseeing around the city, and to do some shopping in Kathmandu’s famous ‘tourist area,’ Thamel. I also took some time to eat at a little cafe that had veggies and hummus and a tofu pita wrap on the menu...all things that I have been craving, especially since I am definitely feeling the lack of protein I am able to consume here...eggs and nuts are really all I’ve had...I digress...

The opening ceremony of the film festival was in Nepali, so I couldn’t understand much of what was going on (though there is definitely a growing number of words and phrases I am beginning to pick up on), but the two documentaries following the ceremony were my two favorites! One, called “And the River Flows On,” was about an indigenous community (actually, 4 smaller communities) from the southern state of Guerrero, Mexico that carried out a constant sit-in, day and night, in order to stop a massive hydroelectric damn from being built on their land. They didn’t want the damn because the reservoir it would have created would have flooded many peoples’ homes and farming land, and would have therefore displaced some 25,000 people. I have learned through my studies that a lot of so-called ‘development’ projects that big corporations and/or governments say are so great, are often really not that great for the people closest to their constructions sites...unfortunately, like the communities this film was about, the people who are most affected by such projects are usually those whose voices are most silent, such as indigenous and rural communities and those who are most impoverished. It’s funny, too, because the goal of the hydroelectric project was going to bring electricity to all of these communities...but they didn’t want it...they kept talking about how easy ad simple their lives are, and how between what the land produces and what they share with family and friends is really all they need to survive...the irony of it all!

On a lighter note, the documentary was meant to both educate and spread a message of hope and inspiration. Members of these communities shared the responsibility of making sure there were people at the sit-in site they had designated every day and night, all day and night, for several months. Other community members brought those whose ‘turn’ it was to be at the site food and water, and if someone couldn’t stay as long as they had committed to stay, others filled in and took their spots for them. The communities, which were at peace with one another prior to the hydroelectric project was proposed in 2003, experienced conflicts between those who wanted the damn and those who were opposed to it, several of which resulted in I think 3-4 murders; however, eventually the community came back together during a meeting with some local politicians in order to pass their message on to the national Mexican government...their message was they didn’t want the damn, and that they wouldn’t allow it to be built. In an interview, one woman said if the government wanted war, she would fight! I have since looked the project online, and as far as I can tell, the damn has not been completed. Maybe the citizens of these Gurrero communities had their voices heard after all!

The other film I saw on Friday night was actually my very favorite. It is called “For the Next 7 Generations,” and although it is a documentary directed and produced by a woman from the U.S., Carole Heart, it tells the story of 13 ‘grandmothers’ from across the globe. The 13 grandmothers are all indigenous women with very special and unique ways of knowing and being in the world, and they are all also spiritual leaders and healers in their respective communities. Their original purpose and intention for coming together in 2005 for the first time in New York was to pray for peace and share their concerns about what humans are doing to each other and to our Mother - Mother Earth; after several meetings, though, the women decided to formalize their group by officially creating and registering an organization called the “International Council of Thirteen Indigenous Grandmothers.” They wanted to do this so that they could better raise awareness about the crisis humanity and Earth (which really are no different from or separate one another) is at the beginning of and to spread their knowledge, ways of knowing, spiritual guidance, healing and prayers to the rest of the world. They have had meetings with important figures, like the Dalai Lama, and though they have tried to meet with the Pope several times regarding the status of medieval papal bulls, which call for such things as ‘converting uncivilized peoples through the use of force in order to make them civilized,’ they have been denied such interactions. I am rooting for their persistence and hoping the Church won’t make a huge (and embarrassing) mistake by not listening to what these women have to say!

There is so much more I could share about this film in particular, but instead, I have provided the links to both the film’s website, as well as to the grandmothers’ organization’s website. Take a look and watch the film’s trailer if you have a chance...one of the grandmothers was born in Oregon, too, which is so great!

http://www.forthenext7generations.com/trailer.php

http://www.grandmotherscouncil.com/

On Saturday I watched multiple films, as well...several Nepali films and one Austrailan film...all were wonderful, and one of the Nepali films was actually a fiction film, rather than a documentary. Although it was in Nepali, and I therefore couldn’t understand it, I followed the story line, and it was even funny in some parts! Overall, going to the festival was a great adventure and experience, and I’m so grateful I went! I wish Sabita could have joined me, since I was lonely all weekend, haha, but unfortunately after her meeting she originally stayed behind for, she got sick. She is feeling better, now, but it took her a few days to get rid of her cough. I’m glad she’s back to her old self :)

Most of the things I have shared on my blog thus far, aside from my stories about my flight fiasco on the way here, have been positive...and this is because nearly everything that has happened to me and that I have had a chance to do have been positive. However, my journey has not been completely free from challenges, so in order to make my blog as ‘real’ as it can be, I’ll share a bit about these, as well.

On one hand, perhaps I was wrong for having certain expectations about what exactly an internship in a foreign and developing country would be like, so maybe the frustrations I was experiencing last week and at the beginning of this week were a result of my own projections and flaws. But regardless, one of the things that was challenging up until about two days ago, was the fact that I was spending so much time in the office...but it wasn’t just spending time in the office that was difficult, since I expected that as an intern, spending time in the office would be a reality, rather, the part that was most challenging was the fact that I was being given little guidance and few projects to work on. As some of you might have been able to tell by the number of emails I was able to send and/or the number of times you saw me on gmail chat, I was mostly on my laptop at my desk during the day...and again, since I rarely had an assigned project I was working on, I was mostly just ‘killing time’ (granted, I’m grateful for having had the chance to read some great articles related to my research and for having been able to catch up on global news). From two posts ago, you can see that when I have actually gotten to go to a meeting or out into a community, I have had amazing experiences and learned SO much! But unfortunately, when those programs weren’t going on, I was kind of stuck doing little to nothing. And I don’t want to make it sound like I’ve only been concerned about myself, either, because one of the things that has been worrying me the most is the fact that I’ve also contributed little to nothing to the organization since I’ve been here! I don’t want to be a burden on anyone, that’s for sure!

The good news is, like I said above, this trend recently changed...two days ago, my supervisor gave me a grant application to proof-read and make changes to and a brochure to update (my first 2 ‘real’ projects after 4 weeks of being here!). Again, not ‘glamorous’ work, but this is the kind of stuff I was expecting to do, so I’m overjoyed! The brochure will probably be done next week, and they’re letting me add some pictures I took at the meetings I’ve been a part of. My supervisor said that the organization desperately needs a website, too, since they don’t have one at all...so even though I don’t know anything about web design, maybe I’ll work on this later in the summer. Other good news is that my participation in meetings and other community-based events will continue when these things arise, so these will continue to be things to look forward to. Next week there is a 2- or 3-day training for the community mobilizers in the HIV/AIDS education and prevention program, so I will get to go to at least some of these sessions, I hope. Lastly, I have been in touch with my advisor at my school, and he reassured me that a lot of people at my ‘place in life/career’ experience similar challenges to what I have been facing while doing internships, and that unfortunately it isn’t a reality that I will have an opportunity to share all of the knowledge and skills I’ve been developing over the past year in the program with this organization...that’s what my first ‘real job’ will be for, I guess, haha.

Well, I think I’ll get back to working on my new projects! Since it’s the weekend, I may or may not have the internet at the house...it’s always a mystery! But tomorrow I will be at a picnic with Sabita and staff members from her organization, so I am looking forward to sharing about that with you next week. And I'm also anxious to share with you about how one of the women who lives below Sabita and I was either poisoned or ingested poison on purpose at some point early this morning...I'm not sure which...but I'll let you know the story once I figure it out, too...she's okay, but she's in the hospital...weird, I know! Anyways, thanks for taking the time to read, if you are :) Happy 4th of July to all in the states (or London, bahaha...nevermind); take pictures of the fireworks for me!

And here’s a special little birthday wish for both my grandmother and great grandmother, Grana and Nana, who will be celebrating their 70th and 90th birthdays on July 9th and July 10th! I miss you and love you both and wish I could spend your special days with you! XOXO, Miss Marr

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Headed to Kathmandu!

Hi all! I decided today to buy a bus ticket to go to Kathmandu for the weekend for an Indigenous Film Festival (Brit, I know you're laughing right now)! It is going to be so great...3-days worth of films by and/or about indigenous communities in Nepal, Bhutan, Australia and several other countries I believe. Unfortunately, Sabita can't join me right away, but she might meet me on Saturday. The bus ride will be 6-8 hours long, depending on traffic, and there probably won't be AC, but I'm so excited to be going on an adventure :) I'll be gone until Sunday and won't have internet access again until then either, so this will be my last post for a few days. Sorry also if I owe you an email; I promise to respond next week!

Here is a quick picture of Sabita and I on our adventures from last weekend...we are in the boat on our way back from the island on the lake to the mainland. Will write about the festival when I get back...

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Wedding crashers, and sitting in a room full of 'johns'

What a great week and weekend it has been; I have been learning a lot about CWES and its activities, as well as a lot about Nepali culture and customs simply by spending time with Sabita, her family and the communities I have come into contact with. This is a long post...kind of 2-3 posts in 1...because I have been short on time, and because I could not get online on Saturday night. So basically, this is an accumulation of typing over the course of 2 different evening sessions on my laptop...and just FYI, my thoughts are not in chronological order :)

I first have to write about the experience that has trumped all others so far! This morning (Sunday, June 20), Sabita and I traveled with one other MSBK staff member, Anil, to a community just outside the city to meet with a women’s organization that is doing micro-finance work. Impressively, even though the village community where the organization is located is small, the organization has over 200 general members, all of whom are women (men aren’t allowed)! Sabita asked the women to hold this meeting specifically so that I could meet the women and hear about their activities; 9 women, most of whom hold some position in the organization and/or who have taken loans themselves attended. I heard all about their activities via Sabita, who so kindly acted as my personal translator, and again, I was very impressed...however, the most exciting part does not have to do with the work of the organization, and rather, has everything to do with the women themselves, and the selfless hospitality they offered me. As we were wrapping up the meeting, one of the women asked if I wanted to see a Nepali wedding. Ummm, yes, of course I wanted to see a Nepali wedding!!!!! So the women led the way as Sabita, Anil and I followed...it was like we were all old friends, and no longer was the language barrier important...we were out of meeting mode, and truly able to just be humans together...we walked arm in arm down a dirt path to a house that was decorated beautifully. I did not have time to stop to see the altar area that had been set up, or very much else for that matter, because the women led me straight to the ‘dance floor,’ where a live band was playing traditional Nepali music! My backpack was removed from my back and I was pulled by one woman out into the middle of the open dance area...I obviously have no idea how to do Nepali dancing, but I followed along as best I could. At this point, guests at the wedding started taking pictures of those of us who were dancing. Everyone was laughing, including me, and probably at me; I’m sure I looked as awkward as I felt! After several songs, I was presented with a plate of traditional Nepali food and Indian sweets, a flower lei to wear, and was also given a ‘tika,’ or blessing (the red, sometimes yellow or white, mark Hindus wear on their foreheads). For some reason, I was treated as the guest of honor...which is actually not any different than I have been treated during my time here; I am consistently humbled by the kindness and welcomeness I feel everywhere I go. After receiving my gifts, I was pulled out to dance for a couple more songs, and then, before I knew it, it was time to go. I never saw the bride and groom, haha, and I only later had a chance to ask Sabita where they were and why they weren’t at their own wedding. She explained that they hadn’t arrived yet, because part of the celebration involves many family members and friends ceremoniously bringing the bride from her parents’ house to the house of the grooms’ parents’ house (which, after the wedding, becomes the home of the new couple). I also realized afterward, that none of the women whom we had been meeting with stayed at the wedding when it was time for Sabita and Anil and I to leave (we had scheduled another meeting with another women’s organization on the other side of town)...they all left at the same time we did, I think because it is ‘busy season’ for a lot of them, in the sense that it is farming season here. So what it comes down to, is, essentially, I crashed a Nepali wedding with the coolest group of empowered women I have ever met :)

What’s even better about seeing at least part of a Nepali wedding (though I didn’t see the actual ceremony), is the fact that I have now seen both a wedding and a funeral. I attended the funeral ceremony last Monday, I think it was, with Sabita and her mother; it was for a young man, I think 28 or 29 years old, who passed away of cancer. 15 days after someone dies here, is when this ‘celebration’ begins, and the celebration lasts for 3 days. We went to this particular celebration on the 15th day, so on the 1st day of the celebration. A statue/sculpture of the man had been made of bamboo and draped with cloth and put on display under a big white tent at the community house I had mentioned when I posted the picture of Sabita with the painting of her family’s village. The statue sat on a cage-like structure, which had also been draped with many colorful garlands of paper flowers and flags. Many ‘offerings’ were also around the statue - offerings of fruit, flowers, incense, and other food. When we got there, there was not a lot going on. There was a group of mostly men sitting in chairs set up near the statue, which again, was outside the community house under big white tent. And there were groups of people sitting inside the community house at tables eating curried vegetables and Indian ‘roti,’ a type of deep-fried sweet bread, and drinking tea and Tang (a lot of people drink Tang here). Sabita and I joined her mother at a table to eat, and after some time, the festivities began. A group of Buddhist monks and lamas who live at and take care of the community house came out in colorful masks and costumes and began chanting and singing and beating drums and circling the caged statue area under the tent. Everyone gathered around to watch, and people began tossing rice onto the Buddhists as they circled the statue and passed the crowd over and over again. I noticed that many of the women in the crowd had taken their hair down out of braids and buns, and Sabita said this was a sign of mourning. The wife and father of the man who had died, both dressed completely in white, were present in the crowd. The father seemed to have a few ‘parts’ in the show, but the woman did not (side note: women who lose their husbands are referred to as single women, not widows, here in Nepal). The man’s mother was neither dressed in white, nor did she have any part in the festivities or rituals, nor was she set apart, in any way, from the other women present at the ceremony (interesting, I thought). Sabita said that since one woman, the man’s wife, was dressed in white, the mother did not need to be. After the Buddhist men made many circles around the caged statue, everyone who no longer had living parents (Sabita told me all of this as everything progressed) joined in the circling of the caged statue, and also continued tossing rice toward the statue. The performers then changed course and began walking toward the entrance to the community house; so the crowd followed, down a long driveway out to a road area. A ritual then took place, where the brother-in-law of the man who died (his sister’s husband), playfully ‘provoked’ the Buddhist wearing the biggest mask by coming close to him, but then running away when the Buddhist would come after him. This happened several times - this game of cat and mouse - until finally the brother-in-law gave in and let the Buddhist with the mask ‘catch’ him. Everyone laughed and cheered, making it seem less and less like a funeral. Many people and children then ate some of the fruit and other food that had been offered to the man who died, and then the festivities continued. We all returned to the caged statue, where many people joined the Buddhists around the statue, this time, standing still (no longer circling); at first, the men chanted and sang with the Buddhists and then the women joined in. It was very beautiful to hear, and it sounded like the group had practiced harmonizing together...maybe they had, I don’t know. The ceremony came to a close shortly after.

I later asked Sabita if what we had seen was primarily a Buddhist ceremony, since the Buddhist men were the ‘leaders’ of the festivities, and she said no, it was a mix of Hinduism and Buddhism. I knew before coming here that although most Nepali people identify as Hindu, Hinduism here in Nepal is really a combination of Hinduism and Buddhism (and Buddhism is really a combination of Buddhism and Hinduism). There are obviously a lot of things that set each religion a part from the other, but at this funeral ceremony, I was able to see taking place exactly what I have read about. A lot of books say that Nepali Hindus and Buddhists have been able to live harmoniously with one another for so long (i.e., religious conflict, at least between Hindus and Buddhists in Nepal, has never really been a problem) because both traditions, in the form which they exist here in Nepal, include so many aspects of the other. I can see now, why, as a Hindu, for example, it would be difficult to hold a grudge against Buddhists, when it was Buddhists who performed the rituals at one of my family member’s funeral ceremonies!

I wish I could keep typing about the other things Sabita and I did this weekend, but I feel like I should move on to a quick internship update. Really quickly...I was finally able to make it out to the island on Fewa Lake where there the Hindu Barahi Temple is located. In true tourist fashion, I asked Sabita to request we pay extra to be able to rent our own boat so I could row it, haha, while most other people went in boats with 10-12 people, and which were paddled by guides. Anyways, it was beautiful! We also went and saw another temple located inside a cave, a place called Devis Falls, and a Buddhist ‘gumba,’ or temple. We were furthermore able to spend some time at Sabita’s parents’ house. There is so much to say about all of these things, but again, I should move on to an internship update...

I spent the majority of last week in the CWES office, however, I did have a chance to participate in/observe two discussion-based meetings put on by CWES off-site. The first relates to the second half of the title of this blog entry. For those of you who are unfamiliar with certain language used when talking about commercial sex work and/or human trafficking, and specifically trafficking of women and girls as, essentially, sex slaves, the title of this blog may have been a bit confusing. Basically, the generic term used to describe specifically male customers of specifically female sex workers is ‘johns’ (on another note, ‘female sex workers’ is preferred over ‘prostitutes,’ so I use this term throughout my writing). One of the ways CWES carries out its HIV/AIDS education and prevention work is by hosting discussion-based meetings targeting different ‘most at risk populations,’ or MARPS. These MARPS get their designations because they are considered most at risk for contracting and spreading HIV/AIDS; examples of such populations are female sex workers, their clients (or ‘the johns’), injecting drug users, and migrant workers and their spouses. To tie all of this together, then, the first meeting I attended and observed on Wednesday was with 8 ‘johns.’ For those of you who know me well, you might be able to imagine some of the things I was thinking as I sat in a room with these men (some of whom appeared to be no older than 15 or 16), who themselves self-identify as clients of female sex workers (whether they have been clients only once or on a regular basis, I don’t know). On one hand, I was angry at them; I don’t think I’ve ever known anyone who I knew had sexually exploited a woman, or women, by paying for sex...let alone, sat in a room with eight of them. Sitting with my thoughts, while at the same time struggling to not be judgmental was difficult. On the other hand, like I said, they seemed so young, so I felt sadness for them, as well. All of them had to have been between the ages of 15 and 25, at the most. I obviously could not understand exactly what was said during the discussion, since it was all in Nepali, but because I have read so much material about CWES’ HIV/AIDS education and prevention work, I had an understanding of what kinds of questions were being asked by the CWES facilitators. From what I could gather from the participants’ responses and body language, as well as from the quick interpretation I received at the end of the discussion, it sounds like most of the men there had never been tested for HIV/AIDS...unfortunately, statistics show, especially due to the high risk behavior of these men, at least one of them has probably already been infected by HIV. The goal of CWES is not to make these men feel ashamed, though again, it was difficult for me to not want them to; rather, the goal is to encourage them to, initially, make small behavior changes to decrease their risk of getting HIV/AIDS (e.g., wear condoms), and then only later, maybe change the way they choose to live their lives completely (e.g., stop being ‘johns’ altogether).

The second meeting I went to (Friday) was similar, though there were different people present than at the first meeting. It was at the drop-in clinic CWES partners with and which CWES staff refer MARPS to when the MARPS decide they want to get tested for HIV/AIDS and/or other STIs. The people who were present were some of CWES’ volunteer peer educators (male and female), some staff of the drop in clinic, as well as a couple of female sex workers (like the ‘johns’ I met, these women were so young...probably not 20 years old yet). The meeting consisted of a short, light-hearted ‘quiz’ competition, where folks who answered questions about HIV/AIDS awareness correctly got a prize (the prizes were wrapped, and I just realized I don’t know what was inside...I will have to ask), and then concluded with a short discussion just with CWES staff and the peer educators. It was, a second time around, a mix of emotions as I sat in the room with the young women who are selling their bodies for money. Part of me wanted to tell them that they don’t have to do what they are doing, and I wanted to try to help them figure out other options for themselves; I wanted to encourage them to continue school and to tell them that they should never let any man treat them with disrespect. Aside from the language barrier, though, I couldn’t have said these things for other reasons...again, CWES’ aim is not to make the women feel ashamed of themselves, but rather, to help them assess their choices in hopes of encouraging them to make healthier ones...eventually, ending with them no longer working in the sex industry. These women were more than likely NOT being trafficked, which, I guess in many ways is a ‘relief,’ if I can use such a word in this context. Instead, they were most likely women who have chosen to be female sex workers (though I use ‘chosen’ with caution, here, since often times poverty forces women into commercial sex work...they have to get money to eat and fulfill other basic needs somewhere, and without an education/without the same education males receive, this is often difficult). So another reason why I could not have told these young women all that was on my mind is because CWES has taught me that in Nepal, many women maybe start this kind of work out of desperation, but later decide to continue because it is considered ‘easy work’ - it is not domestic labor, nor is it physical labor in the traditional sense of the word... plus, it does not require them to work outside in the hot weather.

Aside from the tremendous amount I have learned from reading about HIV/AIDS education and prevention, attending these meetings has taught me other things I have never had to consider before. Without the ability to voice what I am thinking and/or feeling, again, partly as a result of the language barrier and partly as a result that I have yet to be asked my opinion (and if I were to be asked, I’m not sure I would share what I was truly thinking), not only makes me ‘the American girl who can’t speak Nepali,’ but also has created a different type of group relations experience for me...in other words, I am not used to being the quiet one! I have had to learn how to sit with my thoughts and feelings, and how to save them for later for my journal. All of this has been challenging, like many other things here, but ultimately, I think it is all good for me, too :)

Lastly, here’s a little shout out to the best dad in the world on Father’s Day... love you Daddy...and another one to my favorite kiddos, Megan and Zoe! I miss you little ladies and can’t wait to see you when I get back...thanks, Mandy, for reading and commenting :)

Will post again soon!

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Shreeganes Samudayik

I am only able to upload one picture per post, so below is my attempt to get 3-4 up here; enjoy :)

This one is of me with several school-aged children on the trip I took with Sabita and MSBK last Saturday; we were in a rural community called Shreeganes Samudayik. The other woman in the picture is Sussma, MSBK's financial officer (the one who is helping Sabita teach me Nepali). The boy sitting next to me is one of the ones I spoke to for a long time; his name is Assis.