Shrawan

Saturday was the beginning of the Nepali month called Shrawan; it is a month where people pray and worship the Hindu God, Shiva, and women pray to him specifically so that they may find a good husband, or, if they are already married, so that their husbands will have long lives and their families will be prosperous and at peace. During this month, women trade in the mostly red saris and bangles they wear, for green ones; fast on Mondays, by only eating fruit and drinking tea and milk; and also go the market to get mehndi, or henna, tattoos painted on their hands and arms. The mehndi tattoos are a particular symbol of women’s hope that their husbands will have a long life.

I celebrated the beginning of Shrawan at my CWES supervisor’s home. She had invited me over for lunch, and soon after I got there, two of her nieces from Kathmandu also arrived for a visit. The three young women, including my supervisor’s oldest daughter, are probably 19 or 20 years old, and they immediately insisted on using mehndi to draw on my hands and arms; at first, I asked for just a small design on the inside of my arm, something that would be somewhat discrete since the dye lasts for approximately two weeks, but after some convincing, I allowed them to do whatever they wanted...they said that the red/brown color of the henna would look beautiful on my very white skin, so I let them go for it! By the end of the day, I had mehndi all over the front and back of my right hand, and had also been taken to a little shop on the street to be ‘fitted’ for the traditional green bracelets women wear during this month...apparently people have to be ‘fitted,’ because the idea is for the bracelets to look as though they are somewhat tight on the wrist and like they shouldn’t have been able to fit over the hand/knuckles. The woman who fit me put her hand around my hand and wrist, as if to measure them, and then picked a stack of green bracelets off of the shelf and began looking at their size to see which ones would fit me best; it was amazing the way she knew exactly which ones would work, just by looking atthem! After only a bit of struggle, probably because my hands (and feet) are constantly swollen and full of water because of the heat here (and my diet of predominantly salty rice and noodles), I had been fitted with 13 new green bangles with yellow and gold accents that I’m pretty sure I’m going to have to break when I want to get them off, haha. They were correct when the said that the henna looks beautiful with the green bracelets! Later, when I got home, Sabita and her friends Leela and Roshani said they wanted mehndi on their hands, too, so we went to the market to buys some, and they actually let me do the drawing! It was really fun...I’m no artist, but I think I did alright :) You can see for yourself below...the first picture is me drawing on Sabita on our front porch (there was no electricity at the time, so we went outside with our portable lights and used what little light from the evening was left). The second one is my hand with my new bangles.





Now, for my ‘unpacking’ of the whole situation...

It was both fun and fascinating participating in these rituals...fun, obviously, because it is yet another cultural experience I have been able to share with amazing Nepali friends - friends that have been so kind, hospitable and eager to share with and teach me about their lives and what guides them. On the other hand, it was fascinating because I was engaging in the activities for not the same reasons as other women in the society. I mean, I hope I find a partner someday, and I hope that my partner will live a long, healthy life; but at the same time, these reasons are not why I allowed the young women to draw with mehndi on my skin or get me fitted for green bracelets. And also at the same time, I found myself frustrated because there are no similar rituals Hindu women or men participate in, which symbolize a hope for women/wives to live long lives. I found myself sitting in the home of the Director of the Child and Women Empowerment Society, and for some reason, this fact seemed to, in some way, contradict the very things she and her family were teaching me about Hindu culture. Why don’t men spend a month praying to find a good wife, or if they are already married, praying that their wives will live long lives? Of course, I know the answer...but I still haven’t been able to come to terms with it all...especially since I feel like I am being ‘complacent,’ in some sense, by ‘sporting’ my new ‘fashion statements ‘ - complacent, that is, with the ongoing domination of women by men, as well as with the inherent heterosexism in all of this. Anyways, I wouldn’t trade any of these experiences, nor do I regret them, I have just trying to be mindful of what all of this means in my own life, since again, I can’t say that I participated in any of the activities out of very much more than curiosity and a chance to engage, in a very real way, I felt, with the people around me. I will, however, continue to pose the question in my mind of how fascinated I am in the way that women here, especially women who work specifically in the organization I am interning for, reconcile both their traditional and religious beliefs, with the changing societal values and emphasis on women’s rights, independence and empowerment...what does it mean to be a Hindu woman, during the month of Shrawan, at the same time, the Director of the Child and Women Empowerment Society. I could go on and on about this and the next thing I am going to say, since I just recently read another news article about the Vatican’s stance on the Catholic womenpriests’ movement, but just as a side note, maybe it feels the same as trying to reconcile being a newly-confirmed Catholic and a feminist?

Speaking of feminism...I would encourage everyone who is seeing this to read the book, “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo.” In some feminist circles, it is being praised, while in others, it is being completely bashed...but I am in the middle of it and so far, I think it is quite entertaining, if nothing else...it’s a mystery book, which is not what I usually read, but ya, it’s good. It’s the first book in a series of three, and they were written by a Swedish author who actually passed away before they were ever published. Anyways, Nicholas Kristof, for those of you who are familiar with the book “Half the Sky,” mentioned the book in one of his NYTimes op-eds about trafficked women (the link has to do with the progressive and so far successful prostitution laws in Sweden), so I thought I would look for the first book in the series in the bookstores here, and I happen to come across it...and then later I saw it talked about in the WomensEnews updates I get every day...so all in all, if you’re interested in women’s issues, although it was written by a man, it has been insightful.

In addition to all of this, a lot of other things have happened since I last posted. I have been spending a lot of time outside of work with one of the community mobilizers from CWES. His name is Monoj. He took me to see one of the famous temples here in Pokhara that I had not gotten to see yet, and he also took me to his poultry farm he owns...which has 2400 chickens, YIKES! Other than that, we mostly just go to coffee at little cafes. It is fascinating to get his perspective on what CWES is doing and what it is all about. He is a community mobilizer specifically for the HIV/AIDS Prevention and Care Program, so he isn’t involved much with the Rights-based Program or the Women’s Empowerment activities, but like I said, the conversation is never dull with him! He lives close to Sabita and I, so it is convenient when we are going to or leaving the office at the same time, because he gives me rides a lot, haha. Another great friend I have made here in Pokhara!

Unfortunately, I didn’t make it to the rice-planting/mud-throwing festival a couple of weekends ago because it was pouring down rain that day...but I’m hoping there is at least one more festival or cultural celebration I can attend before I leave. Also unfortunately, Nepal’s biggest festival takes place in September, so I am just barely going to miss it :( One great event I was able to attend, though, was what is called an ‘interaction program,’ which was hosted by Sabita’s organization MSBK and its partner organization SAP-Nepal (but my supervisor from CWES was also a part of it, so I had two connections). Anyways, the interaction program was the ‘end result’ of the meetings I have mentioned a couple of times in my blog, which have been taking place with the women’s watch group that has been conducting ongoing research on violence against women in politics. The watch group invited representatives from political parties, people from development organizations, the media, and community members to have discussions about women’s access to politics, violence against women in general, and specifically, again, violence against women in politics. Sabita translated for me, so I was able to catch a lot of what was being said...some participants were so passionate, they ended up shouting loudly at the audience, who in turn cheered when they said something people agreed with! It was super exciting...kind of like a rally, but in a controlled setting! I really liked what one participant said about a current challenge that hinders gender-equality when it comes to women in politics and decision-making. She talked about the ‘paradox’ of being a woman by describing the ‘societal trap’ she feels herself being pulled into. On the one hand, she described, when a woman does not speak out, people criticize her and ask why she is weak and silent. On the other hand, however, if she voices her opinions, her femininity is questioned and people ask why she insists on crossing the boundaries society has constructed that define what it means to be a ‘good’ woman. I learned a lot at this program, so I am grateful that it came to fruition before I have to leave.

On that note, I can’t believe my internship will be over in just a little more than a week! It’s definitely a bittersweet feeling...bitter, on one hand, because my time here is coming to an end and I will be sad to say goodbye to Sabita and her family and my CWES friends...sweet, though too, since my Mom will be here soon (9 days to be exact), and I since miss everyone from both San Diego and Oregon SO much. It’s been weird to have those things, which were the biggest ‘changes’ to my ‘normal life’ when I got here, become ‘normal’ only several weeks later...like washing my face and showering out of buckets, riding around on a scooter instead of in a car, not eating foods that have to be kept cold because there is often no electricity, not having electricity, etc. It’s actually weird, also, to think about returning to what used to be my ‘normal life.’ I won’t be cliche and say that ‘my life will never be the same after this experience,’ so I will just note that I often wonder what parts of my life will simply return to the way they were, and which parts won’t...especially since I’ve heard from friends and professors that the ‘culture shock’ is often ‘worse,’ or more predominant, when people return home from an experience like this. I guess we will see :)

Well, I’m signing off for now...and I’m assuming I’ll post one more time before I meet my Mom in Kathmandu on the 29th. If not, she and I will post together, along with some pictures.

Miss and love you all, and can’t wait to see you soon.